You ever think to yourself that if today was your last day on this earth, would you be satisfied? Is there something you really wanted to do before it all ended? One last word to tell someone? This crosses my mind ever so often. And I know that if my energy was to leave this world of beautiful souls, I'd be more than satisfied to walk away. Yes, there are many things that I have plan and many things that I won't ever get to do but just the simplicity of having a great connection with others is really all we want. To be connected to something, to someone, and to share perspectives similarities, to dream, to love, to be loyal... interconnection! I have been the best person I can be and provided my touch of wildness into other's. I'm grateful for everything in my life, good and bad, happy or sad... the memories, heartaches...

Late nights

I'm laying here thinking about many things that I have been through in my life. Do you ever have you head filled with all the people and experiences you been through? The curiosity that sets in and you begin to ask why and how? Well tonight is one of those nights for me almost like every other night. I travel thru short various fragments of my life, the now and then. It seems silly for me to do but I am dead tired but part of me likes to wonder to the deepest corners of my mind and retrieving memories for the purpose of me questioning it. I know nothing cannot be changed but to look back and look at yourself at this very moment and contrast might just be the little bit of light to ignite your spark.

My Friday night

Okay, so it's been a hell of a day and I didn't get my 5 miles for training like I was supposed to because of all the constant rain and humidity. After work, I took a nap and then contemplated whether to go out to the bar and drink and listen to my friend spin or hit the gym so I won't feel too bad about not running.  I drove myself to the gym, thought about leaving but forced myself to go in. After an 90 minutes, I think it's time to unwind. I should be out catching a buzz and dancing to music but at the same time I'm glad I didn't go out and worked on myself for the night :)

When the past keeps catching up

I have been in a couple serious relationships throughout my life and pretty long lasting. Unfortunately, like many they come to an end but it takes time to build to that. You really have to think of what you have gained and what you are really letting go. Anyways, my last partner can't seem to cut the cord with me. I'm not going to lie, I love deeply like a fool when I fall for someone but once I learn my place in a person's life and no longer serve a purpose, it isn't too hard for me to move on. Yes, I will always care for them and show the great compassion but I'll never retrieve the steps I took to escape. I will send bad vibes. I will forgive but never forget because it's where I got to where I'm at. And so, this ex has a few of my meaninful personal belongings in storage and to try and get those back seems impossible, for he insists to see me and hang out but I can't because I know what he is trying to do. And as much as he wants to be my friend, I simply can't go to that level. I guess, I can't say good bye to those belongings because I refuse to see him stir waters. I'm happy with where I am at. The last year or most of the relationship with him was nothing but darkening clouds and endless storms without a rainbow to follow.